i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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