so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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