yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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