Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
