oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
