Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
