this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
