I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I would fuck him just for his dog
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