I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
