I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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