I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
