I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
