When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
