i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize