butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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