I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
