I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
