ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just cut my nipple shaving
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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