I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
