He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize