I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
