Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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