We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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