i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My bed smells like the plague
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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