he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
