Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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