Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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