You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
A+ Viking dick
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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