I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
