next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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