real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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