was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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