I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
