if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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