Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
