I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
