What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
