i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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