Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
