That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
zippers are such a cool invention
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize