Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
