It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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