He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
