whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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