Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
