I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize