the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
