Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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