I hate your face
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
