I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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