think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
