Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
