I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
