No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
