I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
