At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so that wasnt chicken after all
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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