No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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