my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
