some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm really busy with my period
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize