i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
