i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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