No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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