You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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