I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
