ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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