i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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