hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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