Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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