thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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