Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I will be naked everywhere
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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