What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
